The Story

Ladies and gentlemen! This year we are going to observe, for the very first time, the CT Cup!

Here’s how it works - for all of July, we’re going to be competing with our past selves in viewership. Yeah, I know this post is about 3 weeks late. Uhhh, supply chain issues. Anyway, we have GOLD, SILVER, and BRONZE trophies for certain milestones:

BRONZE - 32,215+ views (highest in at least ~1.5 years)

SILVER - 98,838+ views (highest in at least ~2.5 years)

GOLD - 286,896+ views (higher than the 3rd best month of 2020)

But there’s one more award…

If we get less than 6,500 views this July, we get the CTurd. It looks shiny but it's just a bunch of shit, I promise you. Thankfully the only way this could happen is if we literally don't have anything to show at all. Remember, even if we don't succeed in the global market, there's still the local theaters.

Now because this post is so late, we're already about 3 weeks into the CT Cup, and it's not looking good. Thankfully, this puts us in the position for a great third-act save. We are currently at 3,844 views for the first 20 days of July (65% of the month.) At this rate, we would finish with 5,958 views, which would mean we get the dreaded CTurd. Here are some numbers on what we need to win a non-CTurd trophy:

To win BRONZE, we need 28,371 more views.

To win SILVER, we need 94,994 more views.

And finally, to win GOLD, we need 283,052 more views.

How this goes really depends on how the latest film performs (or if we can even make it on time). We'll see!!!

"Your nation is in peril." This is how things are here. It's kind of desolate, and there's a sense of impending doom that inches closer and closer, but slowly enough that our own decline tends to slip past our own radar, as it is eclipsed by everyday life...